Monday, September 15, 2008

Who on earth would name their son "Dee Dee" anyway?

It appears the runaway MVP in the Kinsella NL is some guy from Virginia with the silly name Dee Dee. Who on earth would name their son Dee Dee? It's about as smart as naming your child Apple or Chastity like they do in Hollyweird.

OK, Dee Dee has hit 60 HRs as of right now, but was he even the best player taken in the Season 1 draft? No way!

Since being brought up after the trade deadline (yes, small sample size), the best position player in the Season 1 draft, Albert Ramirez, has a RC27 of 12.29. He was taken #8, right after the silly-named Dee Dee, whose RC27 is 11.64.

OK, OK, Albert played most of the season in AAA, and his RC27 there was only 9.86, but let's keep in mind that there are 2 halves to an inning. In the NL, they all have to go out onto the field. The only time Dee Dee ever sees the middle of the diamond is when he's trotting around the bases. Dee Dee is a statue at first base, whereas Albert has been playing in centerfield for the Diamondbacks and has room to grow into a top-notch defender.

All hail Prince Albert!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Rule 5 Summary

Many people who aren't baseball historians like me don't know the history of the Rule 5 Draft, so I thought I'd give you all an education, free of charge. What most people don't realize is that the Rule 5 Draft was bargained for in the major leagues when the Players Association first realized that the average IQ of a GM is 5. Hence, the name of the draft.

Can you believe that I didn't receive one single solitary FA offer, yet 35 players were just selected in the Rule 5 Draft? One GM drafted a guy just because his first name is Zoltan, and that was the most logical way to pick one of these crappy Rule 5 players. There were also a Cookie and a Skeeter drafted. I also saw a Buddy in there. And, get this, San Diego drafted The Fonz; how old is he, about 67? Whoa!!

These GMs will now begin a flurry of activity to try to send these guys down to AAA or back to their previous teams. The WW will now be flooded with most of these useless players, and all I can say about that is ROFLOL. All of these useless players got a nice bump in salary, but they better not blow their money, because that's about the end of the line for all of them.

For those of you that I know want to talk to me about pitching for your franchise, I'll get back to you when I damn well feel like it, and not a moment sooner. If you really want to know how I'm doing, don't call me. Instead, just ask your wife. And your grandmother.

Between you and me and the lamp post, I plan on being back pitching as soon as I know my latest Lidocaine/B12 shot has cleared my system.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

My next big contract

My agent, Scott Borasssssssss, tells me that opting out of my 4-year, 30M deal before this season will be the best move I've ever made. I'm having a great season in AAA, and I'm looking to hit it big soon. Girls, line up and take your place in line and I'll get to you after my "private warmup" with my bullpen coach.